The Cairo Bus Challenge

The Footprint guide to Egypt says this of Cairo's buses:

Cairo's buses are only for the truly adventurous and budget-conscious traveller. Buses do not stop; passengers are expected to somehow manage to board the moving vehicle. ...We strongly discourage foreign travellers from using the local bus system.

Call it the Cairo Bus Challenge.
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The Cairo Bus Challenge is in a sport category unto itself. Let's compare.

Here's your opponent in the typical competitive sport, let's say football or soccer:



Wow. Notice his rugged good looks, rippling muscles, mandatory Under Armour, sporty pose (what is that right hand doing?), and his "I'm-really-deep-in-thought" facial expression.

Don't be fooled by his super-cool aloofness: when he plays, he's determined to beat you.

Now here's your typical opponent in the Cairo Challenge. He's former bus driver in my hostel. (This is his 'smiling' face, by the way.)



Unlike our rippling soccer/football player, this man doesn't hate you, and he doesn't want to beat you. It's far, far worse: he is completely apathetic toward you and everything you stand for.

So I went out to the street to film a real pro--an Egptian local--playing the Cairo Bus Challenge. This was the first bus that came by:



Man, what a champ. Notice how, unlike amateurs who jump on immediately and smack the side, he knew to wait for the bus to pass, then attempt to board. And that effortless bounce aboard at the end? He's just showing off.

So with our huge backpacks, myself and a German friend from Dahab tried to board a crowded bus. I made it easily; he smacked the side and fell off. Why?

Because back in Minnesota, Luke, Alex, Berken and I (among others) spent countless hours aboard Berken's family's pontoon boat, dubbed the "Smoker" (yea, that was the actual name.)

Often, friends would arrive late to Berken's house, when everyone else was already out on the Smoker. Rather than pursue the time-consuming course of docking the boat, the boat driver often preferred to make a pass by the dock, forcing latecomers to humiliatingly attempt to jump onto the moving boat as it passed by.

It was pretty difficult. In fact, I can't actually remember someone not miscalculating, smacking the edge of the boat, and falling back into the water. But over time, you get better (even if you still fail).

So imagine that you're a typical Egyptian on the bus, and see an American guy with his enormous backpack confidently stride up the to bus. It's going to be fun to watch him fail.

But then he moves forward and gracefully-- even artfully-- leaps on board. You're shocked. He's obviously done this before.

Then looks at you, winks, and asks for your number.

Just kidding about that last part. I learned the hard way to never, ever engage a woman in conversation on an Arab street. But that's a post for another time.