"Man, It's Like A Living Nightmare, Man."

That quote is from a few days ago when I was talking to Hugo, from Venezuela. He was referring to his bus ride from northern India back to Delhi. I figured Hugo was probably a traveler noob exaggerating his first bus experience in the developing world.

After all, what's the worst that could happen? You can't sleep, so you stay awake the whole time. Not fun, but hardly the end of the world.

But I was wrong; very, very wrong. Hugo's a seasoned traveler, and I can only describe my own 16 hour bus ride as a living nightmare.

By the end of the ride I was dreaming that the Punjabi women's handball team would come harass me again just so I could get my mind off how I couldn't breathe in the stinky, sweaty, stale bus air.

How bad was it? Let's just say the fun began when, ten minutes into the trip, the (obviously homeless) boy next to me turned, faced me, and vomited all over my lap.

No, I'm not kidding. And it just went downhill from there.

The lesson: if you take a bus, dish out the money for an upgraded vehicle. Or better yet, just take the train.